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Joe Pelanconi Books



Vino & Biscotti

"When you're a kid, you just do what you do. You do what your family and friends do. When you grow up in what amounts to a rural Italian ghetto, you assume the whole world does Catholic things and eats garlic . . . .I wasn't an Italian kid who grew up in the 50's, I was just a kid who grew up in Geyserville and didn't know he was Italian."

"You might assume that since Italians disdain following directions, there are few road signs in Italy. On the contrary, there are many; some would say too damn many. Reading road signs as you fly by on the autostrada is a full time job, leaving little time for a driver to prepare for the unexpected - which, of course, is expected. Utilizing typical Italian logic, Raffaella explained the Italians need a lot of road signs because they don't read them."

"Pranotherapy had worked wonders for Olivia. She had experienced a great deal of post-operative pain following a recent surgery. Monica used her special therapeutic powers to capture positive energy from the universe and transfer it through her hands to Olivia's ailing back. Olivia lived with our good friend Silvia, who witnessed first hand Monica's treatment of Olivia.
By Silvia's account, pranotherapists are quite common in Italy and for centuries have been utilized to assist with a variety of aliments. Sue, experiencing discomfort from rotator cuff surgery, listened intently when Silvia ralated Olivia's story. Never mind that Olivia is Silvia's dog. . . ."


"Vino & Biscotti captures the flavor of the country - Italian gestures, styles and ways of thinking. . . it is for armchair travelers who wnt to read about an authentic Italy. . . Having read this book and enjoyed it immensely all I can say is, 'Take me with you, Joe. Take me with you next time you go to Italy.'"

Jonah Raskin
Santa Rosa Press Democrat 7/4/04

"Humorous, engaging, fast moving, it is often a celebration of the Italian gift of enjoying friends, food, and life, with some very entertaining vignettes of both individuals and unforgettable families."

Dave Henderson
Mosaico Culturale 7/04

"Non problema, signor. Follow da signs."

Whine & Crackers
There are excuses - - -
"My mare's in heat and I had to stay home to keep an eye on the neighbor's jackass."
"My brother is wearing my shoes."
"My uncle's nuts fell and we had to get them to the dryer."
There are stupid questions and answers - - -
Q:  "Is Homecoming a home or away game?"
A:  It used to be home, but it's easier if the visitors clean up the mess."
Q:  "Don't you think you ought to go to a school where the principal is a lot stupider?"
A:  "There isn't one."
There are stories - - -
There are notes - - -
                                     LOST!!  AGAIN!!  REWARD!!
               Jenny Ferguson's virginity in Brickyard Creek.  Billy Reynolds is giving a $100 Reward to anyone that finds it.  She has lost it many times, but if you find it don't tell Billy or he won't give you the Reward.
                                        *      *      *      *
And you thought being a principal was about budgets, evaluations and strategic plans!!

            "Too many folks don't take humor seriously."  -  Mickey Bitsko